I'm a guy. And to be honest, I'm proud to be a guy. And sometimes, I feel like this society tries to make guys apologize for being guys, which I think is ridiculous. And apologizing is something I will NEVER do for that reason. I don't owe ANYONE an apology because I'm a guy. I think this society is not willing to allow guys to be masculine, so it tries to tame masculinity. Make guys more emotional. Make them nicer. Preach manners to them. But no one is paying a higher price for taming masculinity than society as a whole. Our schools are suffering. Our government is suffering. And most of all, our families are suffering. Why? Because when we need men to step up during times of difficulty, we find that men don't know how to step up. All they know how to be is nice because that's all they're told to be. And I'm sorry, but niceness is overrated and it just doesn't cut it. And as far as I'm concerned, I'm through with being nice. I'm not saying that I don't believe in having compassion or sharing your emotions, but there's something wrong when that's the only things that guys know how to do. Society has stripped masculinity of what it was meant to be.
I want to be the guy who has no problem being competitive regardless of the reaction people may have. I want to be able to do what my heart is telling me to do and not feel like I have to apologize for it. I want to say what's on my heart and on my mind without worrying how people may feel. I want to have the courage to make a scene when I feel like it is necessary. I want to pursue my dreams without putting too much stock in the potential risks or dangers. I want to hold the notions of "being good" and "being true" higher than the notion of "being nice".
1 Corinthians 9:24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
The Myth of "Open-mindedness"
We live in a society that glorifies individuals who claim to be "open-minded". And to be brutally honest, I believe it to be a bunch of crap. I have two reasons for that: one, I don't believe anyone has ever been truly "open-minded" and two, I don't believe we ever should be. Let me elaborate on these two points.
I think that every person is a lot closer to being narrow-minded than anything else. Now, before you start to point your finger and scream "blasphemy!" or shout "not I!", let me ask you a number of questions. Have you ever: developed a personality, bought a car, bought a house, hung out with a friend, walked into a store, listened to music, watched a television show, gone to a sporting event, flown on a plane, applied for a job, ordered a meal at a restaurant, worn clothes, had a girlfriend/boyfriend? etc. etc. etc. I could have easily typed for the rest of my life, but I'll leave the list as it is because I think you'll get the picture. If you answered yes to ANY one of those questions, guess what?!?! You're narrow-minded! The reason why is because you made a definitive choice. If anything has a definition or boundary, it is not open, but narrow. And when you make a choice, you exclude everything but the thing you chose. So, logically, to be truly "open-minded", you would have to continually avoid ever making a single choice or creating an opinion. Even if the only choice you made was to be "open-minded", you would then begin the process of deviating away from exactly what you claimed to be! It would be the equivalent of stating "the only choice I will ever make is to never make a choice!" It would be a meaningless statement!
Now, I know some of you are already thinking "of course I'm not open-minded in day to day life situations, but of spiritual matters". But I believe the same case could be made of spiritual matters, or anything that is in the realm of ethics, morality, and religion. Let me ask you a number of questions. Do you believe: love to be a good virtue, religion to be worthless, violence to be unnecessary, truth to be subjective, there isn't a God, there is a God, etc. etc. etc. Again, I could have spent the rest of my life typing out that list. If you answered yes to ANY of those questions, then you're officially narrow-minded in spiritual matters! Again, I would say that any time you form an opinion or belief on anything in life, you exclude everything else, making your belief or opinion narrow.
Let me elaborate on the difference on being "open-minded" (which I believe to be an impossible ideal to live by) and being open to changing your mind. You may say that being open to changing your mind is the same thing as being "open-minded", but I would argue that there is a distinct difference between the two. One stance is purely based on pure passivity ("open-mindedness") and one is based on an aggressive stance (if that may be the right word to describe it!) In one situation, you have no formed beliefs or opinions on anything and in the other, you already have formed beliefs or opinions. I believe that we all should be open to changing our minds on things, but only on one condition: when one of our beliefs or opinions can be proved false or incompatible with the way we see the world. Let's say that you grew up thinking that every surfer had long hair. You would see every surfer in the magazines with long hair and you believed it to be the rule. But then, you go to the beach and see a dude surfing and he is bald. Your old belief was no longer compatible with the way you saw the world, so therefore you change your belief on that matter. You should never change your belief just to change it. There should be a reason for doing so!
I obviously could write forever on this subject, but I will keep this entry as simple as I can keep it. I want to finish by saying that when we argue with each other and reject others' opinions or beliefs just because we seem them as being "narrow-minded", we should remember that every one of us is equally narrow-minded as everyone else. The debate should never be about whether or not our views or someone else's views are open or narrow, but whether or not they are shown to be true. Of course, that's an entirely different subject though!
I think that every person is a lot closer to being narrow-minded than anything else. Now, before you start to point your finger and scream "blasphemy!" or shout "not I!", let me ask you a number of questions. Have you ever: developed a personality, bought a car, bought a house, hung out with a friend, walked into a store, listened to music, watched a television show, gone to a sporting event, flown on a plane, applied for a job, ordered a meal at a restaurant, worn clothes, had a girlfriend/boyfriend? etc. etc. etc. I could have easily typed for the rest of my life, but I'll leave the list as it is because I think you'll get the picture. If you answered yes to ANY one of those questions, guess what?!?! You're narrow-minded! The reason why is because you made a definitive choice. If anything has a definition or boundary, it is not open, but narrow. And when you make a choice, you exclude everything but the thing you chose. So, logically, to be truly "open-minded", you would have to continually avoid ever making a single choice or creating an opinion. Even if the only choice you made was to be "open-minded", you would then begin the process of deviating away from exactly what you claimed to be! It would be the equivalent of stating "the only choice I will ever make is to never make a choice!" It would be a meaningless statement!
Now, I know some of you are already thinking "of course I'm not open-minded in day to day life situations, but of spiritual matters". But I believe the same case could be made of spiritual matters, or anything that is in the realm of ethics, morality, and religion. Let me ask you a number of questions. Do you believe: love to be a good virtue, religion to be worthless, violence to be unnecessary, truth to be subjective, there isn't a God, there is a God, etc. etc. etc. Again, I could have spent the rest of my life typing out that list. If you answered yes to ANY of those questions, then you're officially narrow-minded in spiritual matters! Again, I would say that any time you form an opinion or belief on anything in life, you exclude everything else, making your belief or opinion narrow.
Let me elaborate on the difference on being "open-minded" (which I believe to be an impossible ideal to live by) and being open to changing your mind. You may say that being open to changing your mind is the same thing as being "open-minded", but I would argue that there is a distinct difference between the two. One stance is purely based on pure passivity ("open-mindedness") and one is based on an aggressive stance (if that may be the right word to describe it!) In one situation, you have no formed beliefs or opinions on anything and in the other, you already have formed beliefs or opinions. I believe that we all should be open to changing our minds on things, but only on one condition: when one of our beliefs or opinions can be proved false or incompatible with the way we see the world. Let's say that you grew up thinking that every surfer had long hair. You would see every surfer in the magazines with long hair and you believed it to be the rule. But then, you go to the beach and see a dude surfing and he is bald. Your old belief was no longer compatible with the way you saw the world, so therefore you change your belief on that matter. You should never change your belief just to change it. There should be a reason for doing so!
I obviously could write forever on this subject, but I will keep this entry as simple as I can keep it. I want to finish by saying that when we argue with each other and reject others' opinions or beliefs just because we seem them as being "narrow-minded", we should remember that every one of us is equally narrow-minded as everyone else. The debate should never be about whether or not our views or someone else's views are open or narrow, but whether or not they are shown to be true. Of course, that's an entirely different subject though!
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